Probably most of us – who were not home schooled – remember those exciting evenings before going on trips with our class. It did not matter if it was to some other country or only to the closest city – the night before was to be extremely hard to sleep, right? And all those thoughts about who would sit with you, whether you will get to school on time – and if you do not, are they going to wait for you – would not leave you alone. Yes, those small adventures made our childhood way more colourful.
But there were totally opposite days as well. Do you recall the torture of journeys to school before complex tests or long and draining exams? You never wanted those days to come, and once again – but for different reasons – you could not rest well the night before. We do not really want to reminisce on such times and, even more, we tend to believe that such negative feelings for tasks we need to accomplish are in our past where nobody can reach them.
The truth, hiding under the surface of a strong character, is that we simply get used to ignoring our negative emotions towards the things we dislike. We have to fill those forms by Friday, to fix the squeaking door, and there is no other choice but to pretend, at the very least, that we do not care if it is draining the energy from us more than it should. Sometimes it seems that a half of your adulthood consists of unlimited unpleasant responsibilities.
Luckily, nothing is only black or white, and you can share with others the tasks that, one way or another, make you uncomfortable. Before we grow up and stop being scared of the big fearsome monster called the phone, mums can make the calls to our doctors instead of us. Dads can go and get the mail when it is raining outside and even thinking about opening the front door is devastating. Moreover, our spouses can help us to do all those little things that keep on making us feel incompetent or uncomfortable.
Yes, shared responsibilities is one of loads of pros for marriage. It is one of my favourites as well. And the reason is not that I absolutely loathe filling out any official documents alone because of the lack of trust in myself and the fear to make mistakes. No, the reason why it feels so good is that it makes you feel sheltered and gives you an opportunity to express your love in everyday life.
It is amazing how the same task can make people feel so different. One of you might hate the feeling of wrinkled skin after doing dishes, the other might not feel any discomfort at all. One cannot stand fixing the programs which do not work on their computer, and the other sees it as a challenge to learn something new. Furthermore, the solved task is not the most important thing in these situations. When you ask your spouse to clean the pantry or to wash the windows, you show your trust in them. You give them an opportunity to trust in themselves. And you get an opportunity to be humble, grateful, and willing to pay the debt when your beloved, for one reason or another, does not feel like moving even their pinkie to get the unavoidable things done.